Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The day looms near 8/26/08
Well, just a couple of days more and the big day will be here!Today was my last day at work for about 2 1/2 weeks. There are a couple of tough things I will need to work on. The toughest being not feeling guilty about leaving work for a while to get healthy. I suppose that partially comes from the total respect I have for my co workers and hating to leave them in the lurch and partially from the fact that I really love my job. But I am going to stand firm after surgery and refuse to get sucked into work related stuff. I have faith that my coworkers have enough respect to understand the amount of focus I will need to heal.The other tough thing for me is accepting help. I know that I will be down for at least 4-5 days and will need some degree of assistance. But I am having a really hard time visualizing myself in that predicament. This a pretty invasive surgery in that the tumors are deep inside the breasts and not on the surface as many tumors are. So, I will work to be gracious when people offer assistance. I love you all for all of the offers.As far as how I feel right now, I guess I'm a little stressed out. That makes me sleepy and lethargic. I hope I have a burst of energy tomorrow since I took the day off to get some things done around here.My spirits are still good. I have just discovered that I really need to make sure I keep myself in positive situations. Negative situations right now are a little much (ok a lot much) and I recently found myself uncharacteristically upset over something that I think I normally would not have reacted so harshly to. So, if you notice me step back from something negative, sad, contentious, dark, etc., don't take it personally. It's simply survival of the spirit at the moment.I will keep you all posted on things as they go. Remember, surgery is on Friday. Not sure if I will be able to do much of an update that day but hopefully will be able to get to the computer on Saturday and fill you all in.As always, thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts.I love you all!!!!