Well, I decided to copy and paste all of my blogs over from myspace as this appears to be more accessible.
the last blog I did was December 5, 2008. I guess I just needed to step away for awhile.
Just a quick update.
I finished my radiation treatments on December 17, 2008. I tolerated the whole thing pretty well. I am now doing a daily regimen of Tamoxifen, which is basically an estrogen blocker, and the worst part of it is the hot flashes. Ugh.
Things otherwise are going well. I am, for the most part feeling pretty good and my spirits are good.
When I have a few extra minutes I will clean up the formats on these blogs. they just cut and paste into one paragraph.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Friday, December 05, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
There is light at the end of the tunnel 12/5/08
Well, there is finally light at the end of the tunnel. I have endured 5+ weeks of radiation now and only have 9 treatments to go.I have tolerated it fairly well. I look like I have sunbathed topless for about 6 hours but in reality it looks worse than it feels. I had a terrible infection last week that is now under control. Aside from that and a lack of energy, I am doing pretty well.The treatments up til now treated the entire area of both breasts. Starting today the treatments will be targeted to the tumor sites.The radiation oncologist is a hoot and the nurse is just a sweetheart. The techs are awesome as well. If this could be considered a good experience it's because of the great staff at Rocky Mountain Cancer Centers.The tediousness of going daily and the skin care and having little energy get me a little down on occasion but overall I am doing very well. I thank God daily that we caught this so early. My surgeon said a couple of weeks ago that they still talk about my case. The fact that we kept digging and were able to treat it with the least invasive measures is something they are very excited about. So, Christmas will be very special this year. I continue to pray for my friends Dave, Sue and Janeen in thier battles
Live well and celebrate life!
There is light at the end of the tunnel 12/5/08
Well, there is finally light at the end of the tunnel. I have endured 5+ weeks of radiation now and only have 9 treatments to go.I have tolerated it fairly well. I look like I have sunbathed topless for about 6 hours but in reality it looks worse than it feels. I had a terrible infection last week that is now under control. Aside from that and a lack of energy, I am doing pretty well.The treatments up til now treated the entire area of both breasts. Starting today the treatments will be targeted to the tumor sites.The radiation oncologist is a hoot and the nurse is just a sweetheart. The techs are awesome as well. If this could be considered a good experience it's because of the great staff at Rocky Mountain Cancer Centers.The tediousness of going daily and the skin care and having little energy get me a little down on occasion but overall I am doing very well. I thank God daily that we caught this so early. My surgeon said a couple of weeks ago that they still talk about my case. The fact that we kept digging and were able to treat it with the least invasive measures is something they are very excited about. So, Christmas will be very special this year. I continue to pray for my friends Dave, Sue and Janeen in thier battles
Live well and celebrate life!
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Just a quick update 11/9/08 Current mood: cheerful
Well, I've had 7 radiation treatments. So far I am tolerating it well although I am feeling a bit of fatigue. The folks that take care of doing the treatments as well as the doctor and nurses are are really neat people. If I have to see these people daily, I'm glad it's this bunch. I'm going to try and get some pics of them as well as the machines and stuff so you all can see what I'm talking about.I have a follow up with the surgeon on Tuesday. That should be a fairly simple/quick appointment.As always, I'm doing well and am grateful for all I have.
Just a quick update 11/9/08 Current mood: cheerful
Well, I've had 7 radiation treatments. So far I am tolerating it well although I am feeling a bit of fatigue. The folks that take care of doing the treatments as well as the doctor and nurses are are really neat people. If I have to see these people daily, I'm glad it's this bunch. I'm going to try and get some pics of them as well as the machines and stuff so you all can see what I'm talking about.I have a follow up with the surgeon on Tuesday. That should be a fairly simple/quick appointment.As always, I'm doing well and am grateful for all I have.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
On the way!! 11/2/08 Current mood: good
Well, I am on my way with both treatments.I started on the Tamoxifen 2 weeks ago. So far I am tolerating it but I am guessing it takes a while for the side effects to kick in. I am told that the hot flashes and aching joints are a good thing. The studies seem to show it means the drug is working.I started radiation last Thursday. That will be 5 days a week for six weeks. The treatment itself is pretty much a non event. I go in, put on my little hospital gown and they come get me. We go to the table, I lay down, they set up the machine and adjust the way I am laying and then go hide behind the wall and do the zapping. I feel nothing and see nothing. The only way I know anything is happening is the sound of the machine which pretty much just sounds like an xray machine. They adjust the machine a total of 3 times, once for each spot they are zapping. Then I put on my clothes and go home. The side effects of this will be like a sunburn on the zapped areas and the areas that surround that, and eventually fatigue will set in. The fatigue is from the body using so much energy to regenerate the cells that the radiation kills. Everyone reacts differently so only time will tell how severe the fatigue might be. Otherwise, I am feeling pretty good. I am grateful that in this messed up economy I still have a job. And of course I am always humbled and grateful for the support I get from all of my awesome friends and family!
On the way!! 11/2/08 Current mood: good
Well, I am on my way with both treatments.I started on the Tamoxifen 2 weeks ago. So far I am tolerating it but I am guessing it takes a while for the side effects to kick in. I am told that the hot flashes and aching joints are a good thing. The studies seem to show it means the drug is working.I started radiation last Thursday. That will be 5 days a week for six weeks. The treatment itself is pretty much a non event. I go in, put on my little hospital gown and they come get me. We go to the table, I lay down, they set up the machine and adjust the way I am laying and then go hide behind the wall and do the zapping. I feel nothing and see nothing. The only way I know anything is happening is the sound of the machine which pretty much just sounds like an xray machine. They adjust the machine a total of 3 times, once for each spot they are zapping. Then I put on my clothes and go home. The side effects of this will be like a sunburn on the zapped areas and the areas that surround that, and eventually fatigue will set in. The fatigue is from the body using so much energy to regenerate the cells that the radiation kills. Everyone reacts differently so only time will tell how severe the fatigue might be. Otherwise, I am feeling pretty good. I am grateful that in this messed up economy I still have a job. And of course I am always humbled and grateful for the support I get from all of my awesome friends and family!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Well, that was fun! 8/22/08 Current mood: amused
Well, got through the radiation simulation this morning.Got through the appointment today relatively unscathed. I think 5 or 6 little tattoos which was the worst part. That HURT! I can't believe people do that on purpose!!! LOL Oh, and the doctor had cold hands. Note to self: get Dr. LaPorte hand warmers for Christmas:DI have to go back next Wednesday for some more stuff and then I will start treatments on Thursday.Claustrophobia wasn't too bad except when they first tied my feet together. I had a couple of moments in the little machine but nothing I couldn't control.So, we are moving forward.
Well, that was fun! 8/22/08 Current mood: amused
Well, got through the radiation simulation this morning.Got through the appointment today relatively unscathed. I think 5 or 6 little tattoos which was the worst part. That HURT! I can't believe people do that on purpose!!! LOL Oh, and the doctor had cold hands. Note to self: get Dr. LaPorte hand warmers for Christmas:DI have to go back next Wednesday for some more stuff and then I will start treatments on Thursday.Claustrophobia wasn't too bad except when they first tied my feet together. I had a couple of moments in the little machine but nothing I couldn't control.So, we are moving forward.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
I have once again befuddled them! 10/17/08
I know it's been a while but really, there was nothing to report until now.As has happened a few times in this process, I have again kind of stumped the experts.Here's how it went.After my last appointment, 3 weeks ago, with the oncologist she was going to order the Onco Type DX report to determine for sure if chemo is needed. Well, after some confusion at Rose apparently getting the samples to the company that does the test, it finally got there. Results were supposed to be back in 2 weeks so that is when I set my appointment. Well, last Friday was the two weeks and I had an inkling that the results weren't back yet so I called before my appointment and sure enough, they weren't there. I rescheduled for today.Mary (my sister) and I got there today, doctor comes in and apologizes for the confusion last week and explains the confusion getting the sample to the lab. Then she said, "but that's not the end of the story". I started laughing. Just par for the course in this thing. Well, it turns out that the sample they got doesn't have enough cells in it for them to do their test. LOL So, the doctor said that she doesn't think that the benefit of chemo would be worth what you have to go through so, we are going with what we originally thought would be the case and that is, 6 weeks of radiation and 5 years of Tamoxifen or it's equal once I am considered post menopausal. I'll take it!!!Yay!!!! What a relief. I think I can now move forward. Who knows what crazy twists and turns this will take in the future but at least we have direction.
I have once again befuddled them! 10/17/08
I know it's been a while but really, there was nothing to report until now.As has happened a few times in this process, I have again kind of stumped the experts.Here's how it went.After my last appointment, 3 weeks ago, with the oncologist she was going to order the Onco Type DX report to determine for sure if chemo is needed. Well, after some confusion at Rose apparently getting the samples to the company that does the test, it finally got there. Results were supposed to be back in 2 weeks so that is when I set my appointment. Well, last Friday was the two weeks and I had an inkling that the results weren't back yet so I called before my appointment and sure enough, they weren't there. I rescheduled for today.Mary (my sister) and I got there today, doctor comes in and apologizes for the confusion last week and explains the confusion getting the sample to the lab. Then she said, "but that's not the end of the story". I started laughing. Just par for the course in this thing. Well, it turns out that the sample they got doesn't have enough cells in it for them to do their test. LOL So, the doctor said that she doesn't think that the benefit of chemo would be worth what you have to go through so, we are going with what we originally thought would be the case and that is, 6 weeks of radiation and 5 years of Tamoxifen or it's equal once I am considered post menopausal. I'll take it!!!Yay!!!! What a relief. I think I can now move forward. Who knows what crazy twists and turns this will take in the future but at least we have direction.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Waiting, waiting. 10/1/08
Well, the radiation oncologist won't move forward until the the test comes back that completely rules out chemo. We got most of the appointment stuff done, just didn't do the simulation. I should hopefully know next Friday on the chemo and am pretty confident that will be a big negatory so I will start Tamoxifen at that point and then we will do the radiation simulation the following Wednesday (15th I think) and should be able to start the radiation treatments shortly after than.I think after all this I'm changing my name to Job. :DThe big thing this week is that my baby turns 21 on Thursday! Happy Birthday honey! I love you!
Waiting, waiting. 10/1/08
Well, the radiation oncologist won't move forward until the the test comes back that completely rules out chemo. We got most of the appointment stuff done, just didn't do the simulation. I should hopefully know next Friday on the chemo and am pretty confident that will be a big negatory so I will start Tamoxifen at that point and then we will do the radiation simulation the following Wednesday (15th I think) and should be able to start the radiation treatments shortly after than.I think after all this I'm changing my name to Job. :DThe big thing this week is that my baby turns 21 on Thursday! Happy Birthday honey! I love you!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Next Step - 9/26/08
Waiting seems to be the name of the game.I met with the oncologist today. She indicated that radiation is a given, which I already knew and that I will probably be on Tamoxifen which I kind of knew. BUT....they are going to run one other test on the tissue from the lumpectomy to make the final determination that I won't need to do chemo. So....guess how long til that test comes back??? 2 weeks. OY! Then I meet with her again.I meet with the radiologist on Wednesday. That is apparently a rather long meeting (3-3 1/2 hours) where they will do a CT scan and other stuff like that. Not sure if that's when I get the tats or not. Funny story. I told them about my claustrophobia and they got really concerned as to how they could do this scan. Finally we asked to look at the set up and it's no big deal. Absolutely nothing like the dreaded MRI so I should breeze through that test.Now for the really frustrating part. I am told today that there is a $50 co-pay for radiation. Is that for the whole series of treatments? NO. that is every time there is a treatment. Now, for those who don't know, radiation is typically done 5 days a week for 6 weeks. So, it appears that it will cost $250 a week. How nuts is that!!!! I have asked our HR person to verify this is true. That maximum $3,500 out of pocket coverage appears to be a bit of a misnomer. I can only imagine what the Tamoxifen is going to cost me.Oh well. It's only money. I am very glad that things are moving forward again.Looking forward to Challenge Cup and even more, the Race for the Cure!!!Love you all!! more soon
Next Step - 9/26/08
Waiting seems to be the name of the game.I met with the oncologist today. She indicated that radiation is a given, which I already knew and that I will probably be on Tamoxifen which I kind of knew. BUT....they are going to run one other test on the tissue from the lumpectomy to make the final determination that I won't need to do chemo. So....guess how long til that test comes back??? 2 weeks. OY! Then I meet with her again.I meet with the radiologist on Wednesday. That is apparently a rather long meeting (3-3 1/2 hours) where they will do a CT scan and other stuff like that. Not sure if that's when I get the tats or not. Funny story. I told them about my claustrophobia and they got really concerned as to how they could do this scan. Finally we asked to look at the set up and it's no big deal. Absolutely nothing like the dreaded MRI so I should breeze through that test.Now for the really frustrating part. I am told today that there is a $50 co-pay for radiation. Is that for the whole series of treatments? NO. that is every time there is a treatment. Now, for those who don't know, radiation is typically done 5 days a week for 6 weeks. So, it appears that it will cost $250 a week. How nuts is that!!!! I have asked our HR person to verify this is true. That maximum $3,500 out of pocket coverage appears to be a bit of a misnomer. I can only imagine what the Tamoxifen is going to cost me.Oh well. It's only money. I am very glad that things are moving forward again.Looking forward to Challenge Cup and even more, the Race for the Cure!!!Love you all!! more soon
Friday, September 19, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wow 3 weeks already 9/19/08
Well, it's been three weeks since surgery. Things are going well. I met with the surgeon on the 16th and she is very pleased with the results. Things are healing nicely and I don't need to see her again for 3 months.The final pathology shows clear margins and the lymph nodes were clear as well!!!! My surgeon said that the talk around there has been about how heads up North Suburban was to even spot these little tumors. We caught this VERY early!!!I have an appointment with the oncologist on the 26th to discuss what is next in terms of treatment. I am looking forward to moving forward with this part.I spent last night in the ER. Sheesh! Both of my legs swelled up yesterday. Because of my family history of blood clots I went and saw my regular doctor who sent me to the ER, just to be sure. At the ER they did an ultrasound and blood tests. They tested for clots and also renal function. Everything came back right as rain. They are still not sure what caused it but think perhaps an increased level of activity. I've started walking a little further each day to prepare for the Race for the Cure walk and may have overdone it a bit yesterday. On the upside, the ER doc was soap opera doctor cute and the nurse was a hoot!The human body is so dang complex, it's amazing to me they figure stuff out most of the time.I am feeling pretty good emotionally. The next big test is what we do next. So keep those thoughts and prayers coming! I still need the lift:D
Wow 3 weeks already 9/19/08
Well, it's been three weeks since surgery. Things are going well. I met with the surgeon on the 16th and she is very pleased with the results. Things are healing nicely and I don't need to see her again for 3 months.The final pathology shows clear margins and the lymph nodes were clear as well!!!! My surgeon said that the talk around there has been about how heads up North Suburban was to even spot these little tumors. We caught this VERY early!!!I have an appointment with the oncologist on the 26th to discuss what is next in terms of treatment. I am looking forward to moving forward with this part.I spent last night in the ER. Sheesh! Both of my legs swelled up yesterday. Because of my family history of blood clots I went and saw my regular doctor who sent me to the ER, just to be sure. At the ER they did an ultrasound and blood tests. They tested for clots and also renal function. Everything came back right as rain. They are still not sure what caused it but think perhaps an increased level of activity. I've started walking a little further each day to prepare for the Race for the Cure walk and may have overdone it a bit yesterday. On the upside, the ER doc was soap opera doctor cute and the nurse was a hoot!The human body is so dang complex, it's amazing to me they figure stuff out most of the time.I am feeling pretty good emotionally. The next big test is what we do next. So keep those thoughts and prayers coming! I still need the lift:D
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Healing Slowly but Surely 9/2/08
It's Tuesday. I think anyway! :) I am healing slowly but surely. The pain is mostly gone and now it's just uncomfortable. The areas around the incisions where the lymph nodes were taken is numb and I am told it will be that way for weeks or months. No real big deal. Just feels strange.I am a little tired but that is getting better. I took a little trip to the post office today and also walked a few blocks.Spirits are good. The frustrating part is not being able to do stuff like lifting and vacuuming (darn it anyway). Shouldn't be doing dishes and the like but they won't do themselves no matter how hard I try to make them.The pathology reports came back today and the margins were clear and the lymph nodes are good. Yay!!!!Still have radiation to deal with but my hope is that will be relatively easy. I expect I will experience some fatigue but overall I think I'll be back to a fairly normal life here soon.Thank you all for your support and prayers. I will see you soon!
Healing Slowly but Surely 9/2/08
It's Tuesday. I think anyway! :) I am healing slowly but surely. The pain is mostly gone and now it's just uncomfortable. The areas around the incisions where the lymph nodes were taken is numb and I am told it will be that way for weeks or months. No real big deal. Just feels strange.I am a little tired but that is getting better. I took a little trip to the post office today and also walked a few blocks.Spirits are good. The frustrating part is not being able to do stuff like lifting and vacuuming (darn it anyway). Shouldn't be doing dishes and the like but they won't do themselves no matter how hard I try to make them.The pathology reports came back today and the margins were clear and the lymph nodes are good. Yay!!!!Still have radiation to deal with but my hope is that will be relatively easy. I expect I will experience some fatigue but overall I think I'll be back to a fairly normal life here soon.Thank you all for your support and prayers. I will see you soon!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
The day after surgery. 8/30/08 Current mood: sore
Well, surgery went well yesterday. The doctor believes she got it alland there was no spread to the lymph nodes. Pathology reports should beback on Tuesday and we will know for sure that she got a good margin. Iwas released at about 8:00 last night. There are 4 incisions soneedless to say I am a bit sore but the doc gave me percoset to dealwith that. Although I will try to keep that use to a minimum. My biggestchallenge thus far is remembering to breathe into the spirometer. :)Having just had pneumonia in May will make me much more diligent in thatmatter than I probably would have been in the past.I came home to a refrigerator stocked with what are going to prove to besome wonderful meals provided by my co workers. I am certainly not going to starve. And fortunately (or unfortunately) I am one of those people that can eat no matter how sick I feel. :DAnd I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from The Northland Chorale and another beautiful arrangement from Becky! Thank you both. They are very cheery.Thanks to all of you for your wonderful support. Having a supportnetwork like I have makes this so much easier.I will probably be back to work on the 15th assuming there are nocomplications between now and then. I'm still not sure when theradiation will start but she was able to recommend a good radiationoncologist for me up here on the north end. Hopefully I can schedulethose appointments either early or late in the day in an effort to keepa semi normal schedule.Again, thanks to all of you for your love and support. Feel free to call me any time.
The day after surgery. 8/30/08 Current mood: sore
Well, surgery went well yesterday. The doctor believes she got it alland there was no spread to the lymph nodes. Pathology reports should beback on Tuesday and we will know for sure that she got a good margin. Iwas released at about 8:00 last night. There are 4 incisions soneedless to say I am a bit sore but the doc gave me percoset to dealwith that. Although I will try to keep that use to a minimum. My biggestchallenge thus far is remembering to breathe into the spirometer. :)Having just had pneumonia in May will make me much more diligent in thatmatter than I probably would have been in the past.I came home to a refrigerator stocked with what are going to prove to besome wonderful meals provided by my co workers. I am certainly not going to starve. And fortunately (or unfortunately) I am one of those people that can eat no matter how sick I feel. :DAnd I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from The Northland Chorale and another beautiful arrangement from Becky! Thank you both. They are very cheery.Thanks to all of you for your wonderful support. Having a supportnetwork like I have makes this so much easier.I will probably be back to work on the 15th assuming there are nocomplications between now and then. I'm still not sure when theradiation will start but she was able to recommend a good radiationoncologist for me up here on the north end. Hopefully I can schedulethose appointments either early or late in the day in an effort to keepa semi normal schedule.Again, thanks to all of you for your love and support. Feel free to call me any time.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The day looms near 8/26/08
Well, just a couple of days more and the big day will be here!Today was my last day at work for about 2 1/2 weeks. There are a couple of tough things I will need to work on. The toughest being not feeling guilty about leaving work for a while to get healthy. I suppose that partially comes from the total respect I have for my co workers and hating to leave them in the lurch and partially from the fact that I really love my job. But I am going to stand firm after surgery and refuse to get sucked into work related stuff. I have faith that my coworkers have enough respect to understand the amount of focus I will need to heal.The other tough thing for me is accepting help. I know that I will be down for at least 4-5 days and will need some degree of assistance. But I am having a really hard time visualizing myself in that predicament. This a pretty invasive surgery in that the tumors are deep inside the breasts and not on the surface as many tumors are. So, I will work to be gracious when people offer assistance. I love you all for all of the offers.As far as how I feel right now, I guess I'm a little stressed out. That makes me sleepy and lethargic. I hope I have a burst of energy tomorrow since I took the day off to get some things done around here.My spirits are still good. I have just discovered that I really need to make sure I keep myself in positive situations. Negative situations right now are a little much (ok a lot much) and I recently found myself uncharacteristically upset over something that I think I normally would not have reacted so harshly to. So, if you notice me step back from something negative, sad, contentious, dark, etc., don't take it personally. It's simply survival of the spirit at the moment.I will keep you all posted on things as they go. Remember, surgery is on Friday. Not sure if I will be able to do much of an update that day but hopefully will be able to get to the computer on Saturday and fill you all in.As always, thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts.I love you all!!!!
The day looms near 8/26/08
Well, just a couple of days more and the big day will be here!Today was my last day at work for about 2 1/2 weeks. There are a couple of tough things I will need to work on. The toughest being not feeling guilty about leaving work for a while to get healthy. I suppose that partially comes from the total respect I have for my co workers and hating to leave them in the lurch and partially from the fact that I really love my job. But I am going to stand firm after surgery and refuse to get sucked into work related stuff. I have faith that my coworkers have enough respect to understand the amount of focus I will need to heal.The other tough thing for me is accepting help. I know that I will be down for at least 4-5 days and will need some degree of assistance. But I am having a really hard time visualizing myself in that predicament. This a pretty invasive surgery in that the tumors are deep inside the breasts and not on the surface as many tumors are. So, I will work to be gracious when people offer assistance. I love you all for all of the offers.As far as how I feel right now, I guess I'm a little stressed out. That makes me sleepy and lethargic. I hope I have a burst of energy tomorrow since I took the day off to get some things done around here.My spirits are still good. I have just discovered that I really need to make sure I keep myself in positive situations. Negative situations right now are a little much (ok a lot much) and I recently found myself uncharacteristically upset over something that I think I normally would not have reacted so harshly to. So, if you notice me step back from something negative, sad, contentious, dark, etc., don't take it personally. It's simply survival of the spirit at the moment.I will keep you all posted on things as they go. Remember, surgery is on Friday. Not sure if I will be able to do much of an update that day but hopefully will be able to get to the computer on Saturday and fill you all in.As always, thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts.I love you all!!!!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
More of the plan
So, I go for pre op blood work, etc. on Thursday.Then Friday, I report to the Rose Breast Center for the pre op mammograms and the sentinel node dye. For those of you that don't know what that is.....rather than taking out numerous lymph nodes to check and see if the cancer has spread, they now shoot a radioactive dye into your breast. It will travel the same route cancer probably would travel and it dye's the lymph node. The surgeon then just looks for the dyed lymph node and removes that for testing. It's a great thing.Any way, surgery is scheduled for 1:45. They will put me under general anesthesia. Often, lumpectomies can be done with just a local, however, that is generally in cases where the tumor is near the surface. In my case the tumors are far deeper and that, coupled with the fact that it is in both sides makes it a little more major. But, I will still be home Friday evening. Assuming I wake up from that dang general anesthesia. took several hours last time and I wasn't under for a very long time. So, we shall see.Anyway, I guess radiation treatments start about 3 weeks after surgery. I've said all along knowledge is power and now that I have knowledge of what will happen and why, I am ready to tackle this sucker!!!Thank you for all of your love and support!!!!
More of the plan
So, I go for pre op blood work, etc. on Thursday.Then Friday, I report to the Rose Breast Center for the pre op mammograms and the sentinel node dye. For those of you that don't know what that is.....rather than taking out numerous lymph nodes to check and see if the cancer has spread, they now shoot a radioactive dye into your breast. It will travel the same route cancer probably would travel and it dye's the lymph node. The surgeon then just looks for the dyed lymph node and removes that for testing. It's a great thing.Any way, surgery is scheduled for 1:45. They will put me under general anesthesia. Often, lumpectomies can be done with just a local, however, that is generally in cases where the tumor is near the surface. In my case the tumors are far deeper and that, coupled with the fact that it is in both sides makes it a little more major. But, I will still be home Friday evening. Assuming I wake up from that dang general anesthesia. took several hours last time and I wasn't under for a very long time. So, we shall see.Anyway, I guess radiation treatments start about 3 weeks after surgery. I've said all along knowledge is power and now that I have knowledge of what will happen and why, I am ready to tackle this sucker!!!Thank you for all of your love and support!!!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Yay! Finally a plan 8/21/08
Heard from the doctors office this afternoon.They agree with the initial biopsy diagnosis. But, we are going to proceed with lumpectomies and radiation. Surgery is scheduled for next Friday.It is the least of all the evils.I was on the bus when they called and I was standing so it was difficult to talk. So I really only confirmed the major points. I will talk to her again tomorrow and get more details like do they just do it with a local, how long will I be at the hospital, when do we do the pre op tests, what is the normal recovery period, when does radiation start, etc.I am feeling very relieved. I was almost ready to call and tell them to move forward without the biopsy 2nd opinion. Anyway, more details tomorrow.Love you all!T
Yay! Finally a plan 8/21/08
Heard from the doctors office this afternoon.They agree with the initial biopsy diagnosis. But, we are going to proceed with lumpectomies and radiation. Surgery is scheduled for next Friday.It is the least of all the evils.I was on the bus when they called and I was standing so it was difficult to talk. So I really only confirmed the major points. I will talk to her again tomorrow and get more details like do they just do it with a local, how long will I be at the hospital, when do we do the pre op tests, what is the normal recovery period, when does radiation start, etc.I am feeling very relieved. I was almost ready to call and tell them to move forward without the biopsy 2nd opinion. Anyway, more details tomorrow.Love you all!T
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Oh Brother 8/19/08
For the first time since the initial diagnosis I feel like crying.I talked to the doctors office today. The slides are still in pathology. Apparently it took several days to even get them from North Suburban. Then, they had to get permission from my insurance company to get them to pay for the second opinion.So, I am still sitting here, my life on hold, waiting for information. While I still believe it will ultimately be good news, the frustration of waiting is really starting to eat at me.There are several things that I have been unable to commit to because I just don't know when surgery will be and when radiation will be, and on and on.......I know it will all be ok. I will be back to myself tomorrow I am sure.Reb, I am keeping the faith.I guess it's ok to have a down day huh?Love you all!!!
Oh Brother 8/19/08
For the first time since the initial diagnosis I feel like crying.I talked to the doctors office today. The slides are still in pathology. Apparently it took several days to even get them from North Suburban. Then, they had to get permission from my insurance company to get them to pay for the second opinion.So, I am still sitting here, my life on hold, waiting for information. While I still believe it will ultimately be good news, the frustration of waiting is really starting to eat at me.There are several things that I have been unable to commit to because I just don't know when surgery will be and when radiation will be, and on and on.......I know it will all be ok. I will be back to myself tomorrow I am sure.Reb, I am keeping the faith.I guess it's ok to have a down day huh?Love you all!!!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
8/19/08 Current mood: frustrated
No word again today. GrrrrrrI have to look at it like this. I think it just confirms that it is not as bad as we first thought so at least I'm not on the fast track. That is good.
8/19/08 Current mood: frustrated
No word again today. GrrrrrrI have to look at it like this. I think it just confirms that it is not as bad as we first thought so at least I'm not on the fast track. That is good.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
No news yet. 8/18/08
Talked to the surgeons office today. According to the computer (the all powerful) the slides are in pathology and being read. So, hopefully something will come down tomorrow. I am growing weary of the wait.Keep your fingers crossed it is the news I have been waiting for.More tomorrow!
No news yet. 8/18/08
Talked to the surgeons office today. According to the computer (the all powerful) the slides are in pathology and being read. So, hopefully something will come down tomorrow. I am growing weary of the wait.Keep your fingers crossed it is the news I have been waiting for.More tomorrow!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
8/17/08
Just a quick update. Didn't hear back from the doc on Friday so I still don't know anything.It must be getting to me. For the first time since the diagnosis I had a dream about the surgery last night. The dream was not a bad dream, just aggravating. From what I remember my surgeon referred me to someone at University Hospital for some reason and the getting there and timing and all just became a real hassle and irritating.The mind works in such strange ways.Hope I hear something tomorrow. It's time to move this thing along. As always, thanks to all ofyou for your support!!!
8/17/08
Just a quick update. Didn't hear back from the doc on Friday so I still don't know anything.It must be getting to me. For the first time since the diagnosis I had a dream about the surgery last night. The dream was not a bad dream, just aggravating. From what I remember my surgeon referred me to someone at University Hospital for some reason and the getting there and timing and all just became a real hassle and irritating.The mind works in such strange ways.Hope I hear something tomorrow. It's time to move this thing along. As always, thanks to all ofyou for your support!!!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
How I try to live my life 8/14/08
I got this in an email today. It's how I try to live my life and perhaps can be a reminder to others that attitude makes a difference
ATTITUDE
There once was a woman who woke up one morning,looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'So she did and had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up,looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.'Hmm,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'So she did and had a grand day.
The next day she woke up,looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'So she did and had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up,looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.'YAY!' she exclaimed.'I don't have to fix my hair today!'
Attitude is everything.
Be kinder than necessary,for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply,S peak kindly....
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass....It's about learning to dance in the rain.
How I try to live my life 8/14/08
I got this in an email today. It's how I try to live my life and perhaps can be a reminder to others that attitude makes a difference
ATTITUDE
There once was a woman who woke up one morning,looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'So she did and had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up,looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.'Hmm,' she said, 'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'So she did and had a grand day.
The next day she woke up,looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail.'So she did and had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up,looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.'YAY!' she exclaimed.'I don't have to fix my hair today!'
Attitude is everything.
Be kinder than necessary,for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply,S peak kindly....
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass....It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
How things change in a year Current mood: peaceful
It's hard to believe it's been a year since we lost Bill. I am sad because I miss him so much, and happy because I was so lucky to have him as a brother.366 days ago, who would have guessed that we would have lost Bill and I would have cancer. Life just throws you a curve ball every now and then. I haven't had too many thrown at me so I guess I was due.I only hope that I can be half the person my brother was.Smile at the rain!!! I love that saying!
How things change in a year Current mood: peaceful
It's hard to believe it's been a year since we lost Bill. I am sad because I miss him so much, and happy because I was so lucky to have him as a brother.366 days ago, who would have guessed that we would have lost Bill and I would have cancer. Life just throws you a curve ball every now and then. I haven't had too many thrown at me so I guess I was due.I only hope that I can be half the person my brother was.Smile at the rain!!! I love that saying!
, August 12, 2008
, August 12, 2008
Seems the news is better 8/12/08
I talked to the surgeon again today. Just to clarify our conversation yesterday.What they think has happened is that we caught this so early that there is really just a very tiny amount of cancer. She said the pathologist that did the original report is very good and his report is probably correct. When they do a sampling biopsy, sometimes the samples they get are very small and so they have to do the best that they can with the very small sample. Kudos to the radiologist that picked up on these tiny spots and ordered the biopsies!In the words of Scotty Backman, with that being said, if that is the case, we will do lumpectomies and radiation. Which thrills me and made the surgeon very happy too, since I am likely not a candidate for reconstruction should we have to do mastectomies. And she thinks that the radiation will help some with that skin condition that makes me not a candidate for reconstruction.So, still wait and see, but I understand a little more why/how this is happening.Ladies, I can't stress enough how important the regular checks are. Early detection is so key to treatment and survival. Whether it was Divine Providence, or my body telling me something was wrong or just pure coincidence, it's amazing to me that we caught this so early.Thanks again for your support. I love you all!!!
Seems the news is better 8/12/08
I talked to the surgeon again today. Just to clarify our conversation yesterday.What they think has happened is that we caught this so early that there is really just a very tiny amount of cancer. She said the pathologist that did the original report is very good and his report is probably correct. When they do a sampling biopsy, sometimes the samples they get are very small and so they have to do the best that they can with the very small sample. Kudos to the radiologist that picked up on these tiny spots and ordered the biopsies!In the words of Scotty Backman, with that being said, if that is the case, we will do lumpectomies and radiation. Which thrills me and made the surgeon very happy too, since I am likely not a candidate for reconstruction should we have to do mastectomies. And she thinks that the radiation will help some with that skin condition that makes me not a candidate for reconstruction.So, still wait and see, but I understand a little more why/how this is happening.Ladies, I can't stress enough how important the regular checks are. Early detection is so key to treatment and survival. Whether it was Divine Providence, or my body telling me something was wrong or just pure coincidence, it's amazing to me that we caught this so early.Thanks again for your support. I love you all!!!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
This gets stranger by the minute. 8/11/08
My surgeon called today. This just gets stranger as we go.The biopsy done on Friday came back benign. Yay!!!Doc said they are having trouble reconciling the pathology report from the initial biopsies with what they are finding. So, they are requesting the slides from the initial biopsies and are going to have their breast cancer pathologist look at them.What she did say is that she thinks we may be able to treat this with lumpectomies as opposed to mastectomies. Which is great news. Early on it was thought that mastectomy would be the route we would probably have to go. Nothing in stone yet of course.I am very fortunate to have this surgeon. She is making sure that she doesn't treat this too aggressively if we don't need to.Talk about an emotional roller coaster.....Sheesh!!!!I think I will call her tomorrow and talk to her more about it now that I've a little time to digest what she said. She said it will probably be the end of the week at the earliest before I hear back. Keep your fingers crossed.And again, thank you all for your prayers and support.
This gets stranger by the minute. 8/11/08
My surgeon called today. This just gets stranger as we go.The biopsy done on Friday came back benign. Yay!!!Doc said they are having trouble reconciling the pathology report from the initial biopsies with what they are finding. So, they are requesting the slides from the initial biopsies and are going to have their breast cancer pathologist look at them.What she did say is that she thinks we may be able to treat this with lumpectomies as opposed to mastectomies. Which is great news. Early on it was thought that mastectomy would be the route we would probably have to go. Nothing in stone yet of course.I am very fortunate to have this surgeon. She is making sure that she doesn't treat this too aggressively if we don't need to.Talk about an emotional roller coaster.....Sheesh!!!!I think I will call her tomorrow and talk to her more about it now that I've a little time to digest what she said. She said it will probably be the end of the week at the earliest before I hear back. Keep your fingers crossed.And again, thank you all for your prayers and support.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
8/8/08
So, went for the biopsies today. I was feeling pretty drained and discouraged.It's hard to feel that way for long because the people are so nice and upbeat.Anyway, so I go in for the mammograms they use to tell them where they need to go with their little needle. Then while they show those films to the radiologist I sit in the hallway. It seems like it's taking forever. Apparently, the radiologist and my surgeon are discussing if a biopsy is even needed on the right side. So, apparently they decide to do an ultrasound on the right side just to see if the radiologist picks up on anything. He doesn't, so off we go to the stereo room. (that's what the call the room where they do the Stereotactic Guided Breast Biopsies!!!)It was nice to be in a place with state of the art equipment. Made a huge difference in the experience. It was all over pretty quickly.I don't completely understand what they were doing but it has something to do with masses and if they can show that they don't have cancer cells then we may be good to go with lumpectomies. So, I walked out a little bit encouraged. Guess I will know for sure next week. Where have I heard that before? The doc said that the results should be to the surgeon on Monday so hopefully I will have an appointment set up with the surgeon next week. Whew!!!
8/8/08
So, went for the biopsies today. I was feeling pretty drained and discouraged.It's hard to feel that way for long because the people are so nice and upbeat.Anyway, so I go in for the mammograms they use to tell them where they need to go with their little needle. Then while they show those films to the radiologist I sit in the hallway. It seems like it's taking forever. Apparently, the radiologist and my surgeon are discussing if a biopsy is even needed on the right side. So, apparently they decide to do an ultrasound on the right side just to see if the radiologist picks up on anything. He doesn't, so off we go to the stereo room. (that's what the call the room where they do the Stereotactic Guided Breast Biopsies!!!)It was nice to be in a place with state of the art equipment. Made a huge difference in the experience. It was all over pretty quickly.I don't completely understand what they were doing but it has something to do with masses and if they can show that they don't have cancer cells then we may be good to go with lumpectomies. So, I walked out a little bit encouraged. Guess I will know for sure next week. Where have I heard that before? The doc said that the results should be to the surgeon on Monday so hopefully I will have an appointment set up with the surgeon next week. Whew!!!
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Results are in 8/7/08
Well, MRI results are back.....The MRI highlighted some spots that appear to be cancerous. In order to be sure, I will be having Stereotactic Guided Breast Core Biopsies on both breasts.This is the procedure I had done that first confirmed the cancer. It's a rather tedious procedure and last time I was a bit sore for a couple of days but compared to the trauma of that blasted MRI machine, it's not a huge deal.My gut feeling is that those spots will also be found cancerous. Not sure how that affects the ultimate decision but at this point I am thinking lumpectomy is off the table again. We shall see.All in all, I am growing weary of the poking and prodding and waiting and am ready to get on with it.We are doing the biopsies tomorrow afternoon. Probably won't have results til Tuesday because of the testing they have to do on the tissue. So, I will update you on my condition tomorrow evening, but will be another several days for anything more substantial.Once again thanks to all of you for your thoughts prayers and support!
Results are in 8/7/08
Well, MRI results are back.....The MRI highlighted some spots that appear to be cancerous. In order to be sure, I will be having Stereotactic Guided Breast Core Biopsies on both breasts.This is the procedure I had done that first confirmed the cancer. It's a rather tedious procedure and last time I was a bit sore for a couple of days but compared to the trauma of that blasted MRI machine, it's not a huge deal.My gut feeling is that those spots will also be found cancerous. Not sure how that affects the ultimate decision but at this point I am thinking lumpectomy is off the table again. We shall see.All in all, I am growing weary of the poking and prodding and waiting and am ready to get on with it.We are doing the biopsies tomorrow afternoon. Probably won't have results til Tuesday because of the testing they have to do on the tissue. So, I will update you on my condition tomorrow evening, but will be another several days for anything more substantial.Once again thanks to all of you for your thoughts prayers and support!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
MRI was a success!!!! 8/6/08
Well, yesterday I finally got through the MRI. They say they got good images so Hooray!!!It was quite the ordeal. Between orderlies, radiology staff, MRI staff and the anesthesiologist there must have been 10 people involved in making it happen. The big problem was that in order to do general anesthesia, they have to intubate. And since I have to lay prone and there are equipment parts in the way, intubation is difficult at best. The anesthesiologist figured it out though. So they put me to sleep, inserted the tube and about 3 or 4 hours later I woke up with a sore throat but apparently none the worse for the wear. One really odd thing though. When I woke up, the polish was removed from my index and ring finger on my left hand. I have no clue why!!! :D oh well.Now we wait for the report to get done, then I will meet with my surgeon and we will go from there.I'm still hanging in there but feeling pretty worn out.Thanks again to all of you for your support, and now that my chorale family knows the scoop, I feel even more lifted up.
MRI was a success!!!! 8/6/08
Well, yesterday I finally got through the MRI. They say they got good images so Hooray!!!It was quite the ordeal. Between orderlies, radiology staff, MRI staff and the anesthesiologist there must have been 10 people involved in making it happen. The big problem was that in order to do general anesthesia, they have to intubate. And since I have to lay prone and there are equipment parts in the way, intubation is difficult at best. The anesthesiologist figured it out though. So they put me to sleep, inserted the tube and about 3 or 4 hours later I woke up with a sore throat but apparently none the worse for the wear. One really odd thing though. When I woke up, the polish was removed from my index and ring finger on my left hand. I have no clue why!!! :D oh well.Now we wait for the report to get done, then I will meet with my surgeon and we will go from there.I'm still hanging in there but feeling pretty worn out.Thanks again to all of you for your support, and now that my chorale family knows the scoop, I feel even more lifted up.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Hair 8/2/08 Current mood: peaceful
Last night was another of those experiences you just never think you will be involved in.I went to get my hair cut and colored, which I've been debating whether I should do since diagnosis. Since I don't yet know if chemo will be part of my treatment, I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend that money. :)Anyway, it was the first opportunity I've had to talk to Maggi, my hairdresser about the diagnosis. She is so awesome. We made a plan for my hair if I do indeed wind up on chemo. She knows a place to get a decent looking wig for a reasonable price and said she will even go get it for me if I need her to. You have to understand that Maggi has total control over my hair styles since I never know what to do with this sort of curly, sort of frizzy mop. She will shave my head for me once the hair starts falling out. And then we planned the regrowth strategy.Our hope of course is that we won't have to use any of that plan but it feels good to have the plan in place. That's one more decision under my belt and the more decisions I have made in advance, the less stress I will have when I am not feeling well.The other news is that the MRI is once again scheduled for next Tuesday. I guess they have to bring in special breathing equipment so that they can put me under a general anesthesia. Not sure why it took two tries to figure that out for the the third try but I will ask that question on Tuesday. Anyway, I think this will do it. I am looking forward to having answers so we can make choices with the best information available.Well, that's all for now. Stay cool and hydrated my friends. And once again, thanks for all your support!!!!!
Hair 8/2/08 Current mood: peaceful
Last night was another of those experiences you just never think you will be involved in.I went to get my hair cut and colored, which I've been debating whether I should do since diagnosis. Since I don't yet know if chemo will be part of my treatment, I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend that money. :)Anyway, it was the first opportunity I've had to talk to Maggi, my hairdresser about the diagnosis. She is so awesome. We made a plan for my hair if I do indeed wind up on chemo. She knows a place to get a decent looking wig for a reasonable price and said she will even go get it for me if I need her to. You have to understand that Maggi has total control over my hair styles since I never know what to do with this sort of curly, sort of frizzy mop. She will shave my head for me once the hair starts falling out. And then we planned the regrowth strategy.Our hope of course is that we won't have to use any of that plan but it feels good to have the plan in place. That's one more decision under my belt and the more decisions I have made in advance, the less stress I will have when I am not feeling well.The other news is that the MRI is once again scheduled for next Tuesday. I guess they have to bring in special breathing equipment so that they can put me under a general anesthesia. Not sure why it took two tries to figure that out for the the third try but I will ask that question on Tuesday. Anyway, I think this will do it. I am looking forward to having answers so we can make choices with the best information available.Well, that's all for now. Stay cool and hydrated my friends. And once again, thanks for all your support!!!!!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Heck, shoot, darn 7/29/08
What a stressful day! Went in for the 2nd attempt at this MRI and once again couldn't do it. The anesthesiologist thought she could do a general with the breathing tube but because of the required positioning (on the stomach) it would be difficult to control the tube.So, after some rather tearful discussions, we decided to try propythol (or whatever it's called). That apparently doesn't put one under enough. Although I don't remember the experience, I am told I kept lifting my head and that my heart rate and blood pressure kept spiking as I had little panic attacks. I was aware just enough to know I was in that dang tube I guess. The movement kept them from being able to get a good image, so they had to stop. Rats, rats, rats!!!!!My doctors office called and I guess the anesth. department has come up with what they hope will be a solution. So.......they are rescheduling. Maybe third time is a charm.On a good note, the genetic test I had done came in and it seems that I have no genetic predisposition to breast or ovarian cancer. So, although we still need to figure out if those other areas are cancerous, lumpectomy isn't completely off the table yet.So, I shall keep trying. For any of you that think you have a severe case of claustrophobia, I would say if you ever need an MRI, especially one where you have to be face down, make sure your doctor understands the severity so they are prepared for you the first time.Oh, and to add insult to injury, yesterday I got a bladder infection. Pfffffttttt!Oh well, life is full of bumps. This is just another little one.Go out and make yours the best life it can be!!!
Heck, shoot, darn 7/29/08
What a stressful day! Went in for the 2nd attempt at this MRI and once again couldn't do it. The anesthesiologist thought she could do a general with the breathing tube but because of the required positioning (on the stomach) it would be difficult to control the tube.So, after some rather tearful discussions, we decided to try propythol (or whatever it's called). That apparently doesn't put one under enough. Although I don't remember the experience, I am told I kept lifting my head and that my heart rate and blood pressure kept spiking as I had little panic attacks. I was aware just enough to know I was in that dang tube I guess. The movement kept them from being able to get a good image, so they had to stop. Rats, rats, rats!!!!!My doctors office called and I guess the anesth. department has come up with what they hope will be a solution. So.......they are rescheduling. Maybe third time is a charm.On a good note, the genetic test I had done came in and it seems that I have no genetic predisposition to breast or ovarian cancer. So, although we still need to figure out if those other areas are cancerous, lumpectomy isn't completely off the table yet.So, I shall keep trying. For any of you that think you have a severe case of claustrophobia, I would say if you ever need an MRI, especially one where you have to be face down, make sure your doctor understands the severity so they are prepared for you the first time.Oh, and to add insult to injury, yesterday I got a bladder infection. Pfffffttttt!Oh well, life is full of bumps. This is just another little one.Go out and make yours the best life it can be!!!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Rats! 7/24/08
Well hell!I went for the long awaited MRI today and just couldn't do it! 2 xanax and some relaxation techniques and it just wasn't happening. They couldn't even get me half way into the machine before I panicked. Grrrrrr.It is so frustrating. Number one because I am normally in control and two because it's only going to delay getting answers and that is disappointing.We were able to reschedule it for Monday with something to knock me out so it's not a huge delay but still!!!!So we have to wait some more.....
Rats! 7/24/08
Well hell!I went for the long awaited MRI today and just couldn't do it! 2 xanax and some relaxation techniques and it just wasn't happening. They couldn't even get me half way into the machine before I panicked. Grrrrrr.It is so frustrating. Number one because I am normally in control and two because it's only going to delay getting answers and that is disappointing.We were able to reschedule it for Monday with something to knock me out so it's not a huge delay but still!!!!So we have to wait some more.....
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Getting away - 7/20/08
Well, I got away a little for the weekend. Went to Cheyenne and visited my sister in law Dana, and Amberlee and Nick, Christine and Jenna. Very nice and very needed. They spoiled me rotten and let me rest. Thank you all. I love you so much!I'm still not sure how I am feeling about the information I received on Friday. But, the bottom line is, whatever the situation dictates, I will own it and make it work in my life. Physically I'm feeling ok but tired. I don't know if that's from the emotional toll or my body fighting the cancer. I tend to think it's the emotions since I was feeling fine before I knew about the cancer.I continue to be overwhelmed and humbled by the support I am receiving. Thanks to all of you. You can't even imagine the strength it gives.I will check in again later. Thanks again to all of you!!!
Getting away - 7/20/08
Well, I got away a little for the weekend. Went to Cheyenne and visited my sister in law Dana, and Amberlee and Nick, Christine and Jenna. Very nice and very needed. They spoiled me rotten and let me rest. Thank you all. I love you so much!I'm still not sure how I am feeling about the information I received on Friday. But, the bottom line is, whatever the situation dictates, I will own it and make it work in my life. Physically I'm feeling ok but tired. I don't know if that's from the emotional toll or my body fighting the cancer. I tend to think it's the emotions since I was feeling fine before I knew about the cancer.I continue to be overwhelmed and humbled by the support I am receiving. Thanks to all of you. You can't even imagine the strength it gives.I will check in again later. Thanks again to all of you!!!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
There may be no girls to save.....7/18/08
Devoid of emotion at the moment.Well, I am back from my appointment. With no definitive answers. Turns out this is all far more complicated than just a simple tumor that can be removed.There several other suspect places in both breasts that need further evaluation. And the patterns seem to suggest that there is a good possibility they too will be cancerous or pre-cancerous. The doctor said it's very busy in there with lots going on. So, an MRI is scheduled for next Thursday with the hope that it can be moved up.Also, I am having a genetic test done to see how predisposed I might be to breast and ovarian cancers.The results of these will either decide for me if mastectomy is the only option or if lumpectomy is a possibility.So I really don't know. Radiation vs Chemo is still up in the air as well and will probably be until after surgery.To add insult to injury, because of a skin condition I have, it may not be feasible to have reconstructive surgery if a mastectomy is called for.The doctor still thinks it is Stage 1, but that has yet to be confirmed, and the cancer is not really aggressive, so I have a little time to get the extra tests and make sure all the facts are in.The good news is, this surgeon is apparently one of the best in the country.I'll let you know as things progress.
There may be no girls to save.....7/18/08
Devoid of emotion at the moment.Well, I am back from my appointment. With no definitive answers. Turns out this is all far more complicated than just a simple tumor that can be removed.There several other suspect places in both breasts that need further evaluation. And the patterns seem to suggest that there is a good possibility they too will be cancerous or pre-cancerous. The doctor said it's very busy in there with lots going on. So, an MRI is scheduled for next Thursday with the hope that it can be moved up.Also, I am having a genetic test done to see how predisposed I might be to breast and ovarian cancers.The results of these will either decide for me if mastectomy is the only option or if lumpectomy is a possibility.So I really don't know. Radiation vs Chemo is still up in the air as well and will probably be until after surgery.To add insult to injury, because of a skin condition I have, it may not be feasible to have reconstructive surgery if a mastectomy is called for.The doctor still thinks it is Stage 1, but that has yet to be confirmed, and the cancer is not really aggressive, so I have a little time to get the extra tests and make sure all the facts are in.The good news is, this surgeon is apparently one of the best in the country.I'll let you know as things progress.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Yikes! 7/17/08
Tomorrow is a big day. I finally meet with the doctor. The reality is setting in.My bff Judy is going with me. We've done it all. Heck, she was my labor coach when I had David! So she is the best person to be with me.The roller coaster of emotions is catching up with me. I am really tired tonight.So, I will leave it at this. Thanks to all of you for your love and support. You can't begin to know the strength it gives me.More tomorrow!
Yikes! 7/17/08
Tomorrow is a big day. I finally meet with the doctor. The reality is setting in.My bff Judy is going with me. We've done it all. Heck, she was my labor coach when I had David! So she is the best person to be with me.The roller coaster of emotions is catching up with me. I am really tired tonight.So, I will leave it at this. Thanks to all of you for your love and support. You can't begin to know the strength it gives me.More tomorrow!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Mister Twister 7/16/08
Mister Twister, that's what the emotions feel like. Up and down. It's nuts!!!I've had a little over a day to absorb this. Went through a lot of ups and downs today. Right now I'm feeling kind of numb.But the outpouring of support from the Big West community as well as my family and friends is humbling. Thank you all. I love you!I did get a call from the cancer doc's office. They are moving my appointment up to this Friday. That's a good thing. The sooner I have information the sooner I will feel empowered to fight this thing.I've been thinking about how amazing it is that this was caught early, much less caught at all. Being my mother's daughter I tend to avoid the doctors office unless I'm sick. I had never had a mammogram (yes, I know, terrible at my age!) and some of the other tests I went through that could be considered routine, such as a pap smear I have neglected to do for 20 plus years. The fact that I caught pneumonia, that the doctor in the clinic that day convinced me I really needed to get this stuff taken care of is amazing. Many doctors and PA's at the clinic have tried to convince me to do this and I have ignored them all. Why I chose to listen to Dr. Levstick is beyond me. But, I did and while this sucks big time, I could have let it go another year or more and I would wind up in a pine box. Another kind of odd thing is that when I set up this myspace page, it was a while before all this started. I chose the background at that time because I wanted something simple but with a message. And I know how many women suffer from breast cancer each year. I was drawn to this background with no specific reason for it.Some would call these coincidences, some divine intervention. Whatever you call it, it's amazing.I will keep moving forward. Thank you all for your support.
Mister Twister 7/16/08
Mister Twister, that's what the emotions feel like. Up and down. It's nuts!!!I've had a little over a day to absorb this. Went through a lot of ups and downs today. Right now I'm feeling kind of numb.But the outpouring of support from the Big West community as well as my family and friends is humbling. Thank you all. I love you!I did get a call from the cancer doc's office. They are moving my appointment up to this Friday. That's a good thing. The sooner I have information the sooner I will feel empowered to fight this thing.I've been thinking about how amazing it is that this was caught early, much less caught at all. Being my mother's daughter I tend to avoid the doctors office unless I'm sick. I had never had a mammogram (yes, I know, terrible at my age!) and some of the other tests I went through that could be considered routine, such as a pap smear I have neglected to do for 20 plus years. The fact that I caught pneumonia, that the doctor in the clinic that day convinced me I really needed to get this stuff taken care of is amazing. Many doctors and PA's at the clinic have tried to convince me to do this and I have ignored them all. Why I chose to listen to Dr. Levstick is beyond me. But, I did and while this sucks big time, I could have let it go another year or more and I would wind up in a pine box. Another kind of odd thing is that when I set up this myspace page, it was a while before all this started. I chose the background at that time because I wanted something simple but with a message. And I know how many women suffer from breast cancer each year. I was drawn to this background with no specific reason for it.Some would call these coincidences, some divine intervention. Whatever you call it, it's amazing.I will keep moving forward. Thank you all for your support.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
So, what a blow. Today they told me I have breast cancer. You know the possibility exists but you can never be prepared to hear those words. Both breasts even! WOW.I get the referral, call that doctor and am told I can't get an appointment until the 28th!!! As if the news isn't excruciatingly painful enough. On the flip side of that, a doctor that is that busy is probably pretty good and that is what I want. I think I am fortunate in that I have the pathology reports in front of me and so am able to do some research on the internet. So what i do know is this...the cancer appears to be Stage 1. That is good if cancer can ever be called good.The out pouring of support is overwhelming. My family is so awesome. Not sure how I was blessed with such a great bunch. My friends are amazing. The Big West community and the racing community blow me away. My co-workers are wonderful. So much support.I will try to post my ups and downs as I go through this experience. It's cathartic for me and others may read and know they are not alone.more to come I am sure!
So, what a blow. Today they told me I have breast cancer. You know the possibility exists but you can never be prepared to hear those words. Both breasts even! WOW.I get the referral, call that doctor and am told I can't get an appointment until the 28th!!! As if the news isn't excruciatingly painful enough. On the flip side of that, a doctor that is that busy is probably pretty good and that is what I want. I think I am fortunate in that I have the pathology reports in front of me and so am able to do some research on the internet. So what i do know is this...the cancer appears to be Stage 1. That is good if cancer can ever be called good.The out pouring of support is overwhelming. My family is so awesome. Not sure how I was blessed with such a great bunch. My friends are amazing. The Big West community and the racing community blow me away. My co-workers are wonderful. So much support.I will try to post my ups and downs as I go through this experience. It's cathartic for me and others may read and know they are not alone.more to come I am sure!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)